


How It Should've Gone

by Weekesandwentz



Category: Drarry - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Bathroom Scene, Caring Harry, Crying scenes, Draco Malfoy - Freeform, Drarry, Eventual Smut, Gay, Illness, Kissing, Love, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Sectumsempra scene, Slow Burn, cringe but cute, ill draco, infirmary, long fic, mental health, not graphic smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:31:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weekesandwentz/pseuds/Weekesandwentz
Summary: It starts off at the famous bathroom scene. Draco sobbing over the sink, and Harry hidden and confused. But I do not follow rules, nor go ahead with plans. So here is a twist on what should have happened instead. The gay version, of course.





	1. The Bathroom

/-/-/-/

Heavy sudden gasps, sharp intakes of breath, and the broken dry sobs echoed throughout the room. There he was, crouching over the grimy, broken sink. His back muscles were tense and outlined - shown through the crinkled white shirt which was usually crisp and tucked in, but now ruffled and creased. The blonde wisps of usually waxed hair, now falling loosely over his jawline and cheek. Raw emotion was pouring out of his delicate frame. The usual oppressive, impertinent attitude, smashed, revealing a boy who is absolutely petrified. The shards pouring out of the eyes that have seen far too much. He is trembling now. His whole body literally shaking. The usual head held high, now hanging in shame, in fear and disgust. Oh Draco. 

Harry was not expecting to walk in on Draco crying, not in a million years. The whole reason he followed him was so Harry could prevent Draco from doing something suspicious. So when Harry walked in on Draco having a meltdown, he froze. Draco crying? Harry didn't know what to do. Walk away or speak up? Just as he was about to turn around and silently make a run for it, Draco's shaking head looked up in the mirror and locked eyes with Harry's... Shit! Both boys' eyes widened in fear and confusion, and before Harry had any time to think of a hex that could prevent Malfoy from probably killing him on the spot, Malfoy dropped to the floor on his knees. What? Where were the angry words? Where were the stings and blood? Harry let out a breath that he didn't know he was keeping in, he didn't have to fight just yet (or so it looked). Draco sat with his back to Harry, hugging his knees. The sobs had turned to low whimpers and shaky breaths. Now this really was not what Harry had expected. To turn away now would almost seem wrong. The days to follow would be awkward and probably turn out in nasty threats and fights from Draco if he left without a word. Not that Harry would spread this, but Draco would not think like that, these are two boys that do not trust each other. Maybe it is best to just clear things up now. 

"Let me help?" Harry simply asked. Inside Harry was nervous, not wanting to push Draco further but he said it with confidence, wanting a clear answer. No response. Harry shook his head, what do you do in a situation like this? Harry still hated Draco, every part of him loathed the boy sitting in front of him. But seeing anybody cry gets to Harry. Maybe it is the Gryffindor in him, or maybe it is all the crying he did when he was locked in the cupboard back at the Dursley's house. But either way, Harry could not help the tiny voice in the back of his head telling him to be a bit nicer. Even if it was to his worst enemy. 

Draco suddenly shuffled around, twisting so he was now sitting on the floor facing Harry. His eyes were red and puffy, contrasting with his pale face. Usually filled with fury and spite, Harry could see his eyes were telling something more. Something so different. Guilt. The guilt was practically pouring out of his eyes, it was almost painful to keep the piercing eye contact this long. Harry slit his eyes, not in a mean way but in a more questioning way. Draco just kept staring, no sign of talking at all. Harry was annoyed. So he did the only thing he could think of, sit down. Harry slouched down and sat against the wall, his legs outstretched on the cold marble floor. Draco was about a metre away, and he looked down at his knees when Harry just stared. Harry was going to sit here until Draco spoke. He needed answers, he needed to know what Draco was thinking. Harry spoke almost softly, "I am not what you think Malfoy,". Draco looked up to Harry, his face was tear stained, he had never looked so broken. "I won't make you tell me anything, but I can't help wanting to know," Harry ruffled his hands through his messy locks and sighed. What was he doing?  
"What reason do I have?" Draco asked, his voice cracked on the last word and he stared back down at his lap. This was a start at least, Harry thought.  
"No reason at all," he replied back, with a light shake of the head. There was no point in lying, Harry needed to be trusted in some way. Draco started chewing nervously on his nails. Such a normal act, just so abnormal on Draco. Usually his nails were neatly cut and kept in perfect condition, so this confirmed to Harry he really must be losing it. "I don't have anything t-to say," Draco stumbled out.  
"Then don't," Harry replied in honesty. If he wanted to know what was going on then he would have to be patient. They were enemies at the end of the day, this was never going to be easy. Harry, unaware, started tapping his finger on the floor, staring at his shoe, deep in thought. What would Hermione do in this situation? That was a stupid thing to think of, Harry thought. Hermione would never be in the boys toilet and followed him in the first place. There was no point in thinking of what Ron would do because that would obviously end in blood and anger. Just as Harry started thinking of what he himself should do, Draco started uncontrollably shaking. He was curled up in a ball, still in the seating position, but he had his arms wrapped around his legs the time, with his knees tucked in to his chest, and his head resting behind them. His whole body was moving, and before Harry could think of what to do the first loud cry escaped from Draco. He wasn't crying like a baby, or whining like a toddler, he was sobbing like somebody who was about to give up. Never mind the person, Harry's heart ached just at the sound. Chills were going down his spine, and Harry was overcome with sudden alarm. Something was seriously wrong here. What had happened for Draco to be like this? And in front of him? How was Draco being so open to the person he has bullied relentlessly for the past four years? So Harry did the only thing he could do, and shuffled over to the crying boy wrapping one strong arm around his thin, trembling frame. Even though he was nervous to do it, Harry had to show some kind of support, even if it was physical. 

The two sat there side by side, Draco leaning into the warm, protective arm holding him up, and Harry keeping his posture sturdy, supporting Draco's weight. This was the boy that called Hermione a mudblood, this was the boy that laughed at his mistakes, this was the boy that would kill Harry if he had the chance. Yet here they are, side by side, going through something that not many close people even do. It was so wrong. It was absolutely ridiculous. But Harry just couldn't leave. He couldn't break the raft that was keeping the broken boy afloat. So they just sat. They sat there for more than five whole minutes, until Draco's crying had turned to silent sniffles. Harry's arm was becoming tired and started aching, so when Draco abruptly stood up, Harry could not help but feel some relief. 

"This never fucking happened Potter," Draco spoke, breaking the silence, and wiping his damp face with his sleeve. He hastily grabbed his jumper which was crumpled on the sink and marched to the door. Without looking back at Harry Draco left. Just like that, the door clicking shut, and leaving Harry alone on the dirty marble floor staring at it in utter disbelief. Of course Draco would do that. That is such a Draco thing to do, and Harry felt betrayed almost. Leaving him like that stung just the tiniest bit. Because after all what they went through, Draco would would be the one to waltz away and act like this never happened. Harry thought there would be something else. Not a thank you, definitely not a thank you. But at least some kind of explanation, some kind of reasoning to whatever that was that just occurred in the school toilets. With a sigh, Harry hauled himself off of the floor and stretched his aching limbs. His shirt was creased, and so were his trousers so he gave them a brush off and then headed to the door. Leaving the bathroom behind, Harry wandered the corridors of Hogwarts back to the Gryffindor common room and carried on the day like normal, just a little bit slower. But when Harry got into his four poster bed that night, he couldn't get rid of that tiny thought at the back of his mind. Does Draco need his help? But every time it popped up he would think the exact same thing as the last time, does he really deserve it? The years of bullying and name calling tells him no, but the thought of being back in that bathroom hearing those sobs again, he can't help but say yes. Getting off to sleep was hard with all those decisive thoughts, but to make matters worse there was something else. Something that may be even harder to understand. A feeling, and this time it wasn't an emotion. Harry fell asleep that night to the tingling feeling buzzing on his fingertips. The same fingertips that were wrapped around Draco those many hours ago.


	2. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione insists on Harry revising at the library, but how can he when he is easily distracted by a certain someone?

The next day was just like Harry had expected it to be. The same. When Draco had said the words "this never happened", Draco really meant that what happened in that bathroom genuinely never happened. It didn't shock Harry, it was just annoying. For instance walking to Potions with Hermione and Ron, Draco sneered as he passed the three of them. Harry wasn't frustrated at the sneering, that was a normal thing by now of course, but it was how Draco acted like Harry didn't help him the day before. It was how Draco didn't even show the slightest bit of gratefulness. Harry didn't know what to expect but he could not help having that tiny feeling of hurt deep down. That was ridiculous though, why would Harry feel hurt? He didn't want Draco's gratitude, he didn't want to even hear him. Harry hated Draco, and that was that. So when Draco entered the library that afternoon, Harry acted like he wasn't even there. Being ignored would annoy Draco largely, it might even make him speak up, Harry thought. But the second the thought entered Harry's head, he shook it away with disgust. What was he doing? He didn't want to talk to him. Harry Potter hated Draco Malfoy and that was that. 

"Are you sure you aren't coming tonight Harry?" Hermione asked for the third time that afternoon. It was probably because Hermione didn't want to be left alone with only Ron for so long who usually ends up eating loudly or snoring. "Oh please Harry, you really do need this revision time," Hermione added, frowning, and threw her pencil at the boy, who was flicking through a quidditch magazine. 

Harry sighed, he had cancelled last week so there was no way he would get away with it again. "Fine, but on one condition," Harry stated, making Hermione purse her lips and a suspicious frown formed on her face, "We stay in the library for two hours, and then after tonight you can't make me go again." This made Hermione tut and lightly shake her head but she sighed and agreed anyway. 

"I am not going to comment on the fact that that is a very unfair deal, but instead advise you to start revising in your own time if you want to get in the teachers good books for next year." Her eyebrows were now raised, looking down on Harry like a mother would her son. But Harry just smiled and grabbed his bag. As annoying as she was, if it wasn't for Hermione, Harry and Ron would probably be head high in homework right now, so in a way Harry was very grateful. 

"Is Ron actually down there already?" Harry asked, as he couldn't quite believe Ron was doing homework at his own accord. 

"Yes he is, and the last thing his grades need is you putting him off by joking about it. Now come on, let's go so we don't stay too late." Hermione replied, with a small grin. Even she couldn't actually believe Ron was working, it was in fact a miracle some could say. 

When the two entered the library at 7pm, Ron had already done a roll of parchment on History of Magic, and was now on Potions. Impressive, Harry thought. 

"Hermione you never said there was this much," Ron whined, exasperatedly holding all of his sheets and then dropping them in a huff. 

"Oh hello Ronald, I am good actually, thanks for asking," Hermione answered sarcastically, but laughed anyway and perched herself in front of Ron, beside the stone wall. Harry nodded at Ron and sat beside him, laying out his own books on the table. 

"Alright Harry?" Ron asked with a tired smile. His red hair was ruffled across his forehead and he had a smudge of ink across his bottom lip. 

"Yeah I am good thanks, just not looking forwards to all this work coming up I guess," Harry replied. 

"Oh tell me about it, Snape will be the death of me. I mean look at all this rubbish!" Ron commented, and with a sigh everyone started silently working their way through their mound of work. 

The actual library was nearly empty, just a couple of third year students crowded around a small table. The large panel windows looked out on to the green damp grass, which was lit by the full moon. It was like something out of a painting. But it was Hogwarts, Harry thought, the whole place is a canvas painted in magical colours. 

Harry was daydreaming, gnawing at the end of his pencil when the library door opened and closed with a clunk. He drew his eyes away from the owls swooping around the grounds to have a quick look at who just entered. Harry's eyes were moving faster than his brain, so when he realised he was staring in to the eyes of the person who just came in, he had to blink twice in shock. Looking back at him, holding that same steady stare they had shared in the bathroom that long day ago, was Draco Malfoy. Of course it bloody was. 

Draco held the stare, as Harry had the expression of a deer caught in headlights, making it much easier to keep the eye contact for longer. Harry noticeably swallowed, blinked twice and then looked down at his work. Why was he being so awkward? Draco sauntered over to the towering aisles and started aimlessly picking out large, battered copies of history books. Harry couldn't help but stare, not after the incident in the bathroom seeing Draco so broken - so not himself. Draco was bent over, analysing the battered spines, sliding his long pale fingers over the stained fabrics. Everything Draco did had an element of class. He was so delicate with things, being easy, like everything he focuses on can take all the time in the world. Draco makes himself out to be the hardest person to read, when really Harry can read him like a book. A book full of secrets, journeys and pain. A book Harry wants to dive further in to, find more about. Because of all the times for Draco Malfoy to open up, now would be the best. Harry has no right to know Draco's life, what is going on at home, but a part of him needs to. Because at the end of the day, Voldemort is out there, and so is people's futures. 

It had been thirty minutes since Draco had entered the peaceful library. Thirty minutes, fifty glances at the blonde, and four chews of the pencil to be exact. Harry couldn't help it though. Every time he would finish a sentence his vision would glide up off the paper and fly over to the Slytherin perched in the corner. Tucked beside the wall at the table on the other side of the room, Draco had been reading and taking small notes the whole time. As time ticked on, Harry had analysed every part of him. Like the way one piece of hair fell loosely over his pale forehead, and the way he gently brushed the tip of his quill over his bottom lip, or the way he had to reread with squinted eyes when he didn't understand a particular sentence. He was just too easy to stare at, Harry thought, as he dragged his eyes away from him for the umpteenth time that evening and back on to his parchment. There goes the whole 'ignoring Draco Malfoy' act out of the window. But surprisingly Draco hadn't sneered at Harry, or reacted in any way at all. He had sat there silently the whole time, doing his work. Whereas Harry had hardly written anything, his page was half full, with meaningless scribbles apparently resembling words. Sighing, Harry abruptly stood up, if he wanted to do some productive work then he would have to find another time to focus on it. 

"Leaving already?" Hermione asked, not looking away from her book. 

"Yeah I can't focus at the moment, I will come back tomorrow I think," Harry replied, partly telling the truth. Ron yawned and shook his head. 

"I would leave too mate, but I know I wouldn't do it tomorrow," Ron said, half smiling at Harry who was already packing his things away. 

"No worries, I want to get an early night in any way, so I will see you in the morning maybe," Harry replied, smiling, and the pair replied with nods and goodbyes. Walking out of the library, Harry hadn't noticed Malfoy had packed up, as his place at his table was now empty. He must have been in a rush or something. Thinking nothing of it, Harry left the library and turned right, heading back to the Gryffindor common room. All of a sudden a muffled thud echoed throughout the stone corridor, dragging Harry out of his thoughts. It wasn't until his eyes focused on the small figure on the ground, that he realised someone had fallen. Rushing straight over, Harry dumped his bag on the floor and bent down. Before even reaching out for the person before him, he froze. Not again, surely. Green tie, blonde hair, and very pale skin. It was Draco Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, I apologise. But you do get a chapter a night so yeahhhhh.


	3. The Infirmary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco was somewhere, and for once it wasn't on the floor, but of course there was still Potter.

The room was quiet when Draco came to his senses. His eye lids were heavy, and he was wrapped in a soft blanket on a stiff type of bed. Apart from the sound of the clock ticking to his right, Draco could only hear the voices of two people. A lady was talking, speaking about lessons or something, and the other voice was all too familiar. 

"Well I will do everything I can, it just might be a bit, um, difficult," the second voice replied in a deeper, more rough tone compared to the first. Of course it was, Draco thought. The all too familiar voice was back. Did Harry Potter ever leave him alone? Opening one eye confirmed Draco's guess as to where he was lying so uncomfortably - the infirmary. It was early morning by the looks of it, which means Draco had been there overnight. The sun was shining brightly, and he could hear the morning birds singing away. But why was he in there? And why, of all people, was Harry Potter a few feet away talking to Madame Pomfrey? As if on cue, their conversation ended with Pomfrey going over to greet another student, and Harry turning to face Draco. They locked eyes. It wasn't even weird anymore, he thought. That is all the pair seem to do lately, lock eyes and stay silent, however Harry felt the need this time to break it. 

"Oh, you're awake," Harry said, lamely stating the obvious. Draco rolled his eyes, of course it was like Harry to be an idiot in a situation like this. 

"Well done Potter, ten points to Gryffindor," Draco replied, sitting himself up. It wasn't until he dragged his body up against the creaky headboard that he realised how weak he felt. His limbs seemed to be stiff, and his head suddenly overcome with dizziness. Harry watched as Draco winced, and closed his eyes. He stared Draco over, noticing how he looked more pale than usual. How the bags under his eyes were like bruises on fine skin. His blonde hair was limp and falling in streaks all over his head. Harry could see he was ill as he saw Draco wince in pain, but Harry could also see something else - a different type of pain, covered up and masked. Harry got sudden flashbacks from the bathroom, his body pressed into Draco's, and his small whimpers echoing around that big room. Draco did need help, and Harry realised then, that he had to make some kind of start.

"Lay back down, Pomfrey said you need to rest." Harry spoke quietly, standing at the side of Draco's bed. Draco shook his head, he wasn't going to be bossed around by his enemy so easy. 

"I feel fine actually, you just need to leave me alone and I will be just perfect." Draco said, sending Harry a glare and a half-snarl his way. Harry just tutted and shook his head, making his hair ruffle forward. This irritated Draco, who does he think he is ordering him around like that? Standing there in his stupid red and gold jumper, with his hair ridiculously messy, and his expression somewhat calculating like Draco was some sort of difficult potion exam. Just as Draco was about to open his mouth and tell Harry to piss off, Pomfrey had noticed Draco was awake and came marching over. 

"Draco how do you feel?" She pressed, her face looked stressed, over worked, and Draco couldn't help but notice how her wrinkles showed her age. 

"Yes I am fine, but why am I here?" Draco asked quickly, as he didn't like the feeling of being so low down, with both Harry and Madame Pomfrey towering above him, looking highly superior. In an attempt to not feel so powerless, Draco tried to move into a seated position on the side of the bed. He just wanted space and to be out of those damn covers, however Draco's head spun and a small whimper escaped from his chapped lips as he tried. 

"Now now Draco, you must lie down as you are very sick. I have run some tests on you and it isn't good. I must ask, why have you not been eating?" Pomfrey said with a sigh, pushing him back down on to the bed. Draco felt humiliated, feeling his cheeks redden at the childish order. Why was the woman treating him like some two year old, and why was Harry still there watching it all? 

"Oh jog off now Potter, quit staring at me like I am some kind of puppy and go and help someone else," Draco snapped, however it didn't quite have the force he was thriving for. His voice sounded strained, and he was so cold that he was sure his shaking was visible. Pomfrey confirmed this thought by covering Draco's torso with the knitted blanket. Harry went to open his mouth but Pomfrey put a hand up and got there first. 

"Draco we will leave you to rest, you are obviously still tired which is why you are acting so grouchy. I will come by around lunch time to see if you are hungry," she said, and walked away to sort some things into some cupboards. Harry was still there, not knowing what to say. Draco was so angry yet so tired that all he could do to tell him to go away was to close his eyes. He needed more rest as Pomfrey had clearly said, so Harry should surely leave him alone. 

After a few moments of silence Harry spoke softly, "Just incase you never heard me last night, me too," he said, and turning on his heel he strode out of the room without another word. The rhythmic sound of his footsteps fading away as he walked away further and further. What on earth was he on about? Did Draco say something when he must have fainted or passed out? But he could not remember Harry ever being there. Now he needed Harry to tell him what he had said, but that would mean going up to him, and quite frankly Draco would rather get trampled by an erumpent than voluntarily speak to Harry Potter. Whilst Draco's mind was thinking up all the possibilities of what he could have said, his eyes began to droop, and his breathing became slower. Before another possible scenario could be imagined, the boy was dragged into a deep slumber. But not deep enough to extinguish the one person that had been printed in his mind for days. With that stupid scar, and those stupid glasses, Harry bloody Potter swirled deep in his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bloody short chapter but it gets good my friends... I promise.


	4. Seeing Dumbledore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been asked a large favour which will take up a lot of his time, does he accept because he has to or because he wants to?

The castle was empty, the long stone corridors deserted. All students would be in first lesson by now, all apart from Harry Potter, who was on his way to Dumbledore's office. 

Harry did not expect Pomfrey to suggest such a thing, however after talking about it for ten minutes Harry came to the conclusion she was right... he would teach Draco. Not exactly teach, as Pomfrey put it 'cover some work he would be missing'. Harry didn't actually mind when she had suggested it, in fact he quite liked the idea, it was just the thought of something else that made him uneasy. Draco would most definitely hate it. He will likely protest, argue and disagree the minute he hears it. At least he didn't have to be there when Pomfrey explains it all to him, Harry thought, as he wandered through the corridors of the aged castle.

Muttering the password to the office, Harry climbed the winding stairs, clearing his mind and focusing on the surroundings before him. Dumbledore's office was a magical place. Yes, it was Hogwarts so everything is magical, but Dumbledore's office was something else. Everywhere you looked there were new things to see and new things to learn. It was a wonder for the eyes and a treasure for the mind. And as for Dumbledore himself, he would be occupying himself in a number of ways. When Harry walked in this time, he was lining up necklaces of some sort, and quietly muttering away to himself. 

"Good morning sir," Harry said and coughed lightly, making Dumbledore spin around, greeting the Gryffindor with a welcoming smile. 

"Ah good morning Harry, my boy, do take a seat," the old wizard replied, pointing at the deep blue armchair in the centre of the room. "You are here about Draco, I am guessing?" 

Harry was surprised he knew already, but at the same time wasn't. This was Dumbledore for Merlin's sake, what doesn't he know? "Yes I am, I came to pass on the message from Pomfrey, but I think you already know." 

Dumbledore smiled and chuckled warmly, taking a sip of something hot from a white and gold tea cup. "Ahh yes I do already know. I think it is very good of you Harry to do this, but I want you to know that it is totally optional. Everyone is highly aware of the, um, difficulties you two have in communication, however I do believe this could work. You seem pretty certain yourself." 

"Well I surprisingly don't mind sir, it's just I know Draco most certainly will," the boy replied, fidgeting in the far too big, velvet chair. 

"Well Harry, I think he will come to his senses after a good think about it and agree it is a good idea. He will be missing lots of important lessons, and knowing Draco, he won't want to be behind. Just give him time, and his stubbornness will eventually ware away." he smiled, and took another sip. Harry knew this was true and said he agreed, nodding his head whilst doing so. He could do it. It was going to be hard, but why not? It would be like an experiment, just without the instructions and instead with a so called 'enemy' moaning at you. It should be fine. Totally fine. 

Harry finished the conversation with small talk, and politely excused himself. He had fifteen minutes to kill before his next lesson started, which was enough time to go and collect his books and make his way there. He would have to focus that little bit more in lesson now, he thought. If he now had to catch Draco up on everything he misses then he would have to make sure it was good quality work he was presenting him. Sure, it will not be anywhere near Draco's usual standards but it will be the best he can do. Harry didn't even realise he was making an effort until he was halfway through lesson three of the day and his hand hurt. He stopped making notes and tutted to himself. Why he was making such a determined attempt he did not know, this was Draco for Merlin's sake! Nevertheless Harry went back to scribbling words on his parchment and trying to take in as much as he could for the rest of the lesson, and before he knew it it was the end of the day. 

Ron and Hermione must have noticed he was working in lessons more because when he entered the common room that evening they both had raised eyebrows. Harry brushed it off as wanting to work harder, and explained he was tired. He decided it would be best if he left telling them about Draco until tomorrow, and instead go and relax on his bed. Reflecting upon his day, Harry realised how tired he felt. So this was what working hard felt like, he thought, and smiled. How Hermione did it every day of every year he had no idea.   
Maybe helping Draco wasn't so much of a bad thing after all, not if he was getting more work done for his own sake too. Tomorrow was the first 'lesson' where Harry will be showing Draco his notes, and will be finding out how he reacted to the whole situation. Harry wasn't nervous, no not at all... Just slightly skeptical, that was all. Harry couldn't quite put his finger on what he was feeling, it certainly wasn't nerves he kept telling himself, and decided it was just him feeling a little dubious about the whole situation. It wasn't like he had to impress Draco or anything, no because that would be absurd. It was just work, he thought. Just some silly words on a page being shared. And even though Harry said he would relax, he fell asleep that night reading over and correcting his notes from that day, and as a result he awoke the next morning to many crumpled sheets surrounding his face and pillow. Making an effort? Harry promised himself he will not...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy lol this was a pretty short chapter sorry <3


	5. The room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally gets to give his work to Draco however things don't go as planned.

"Oh hurry up Harry we are going to miss dinner in a minute, what are you even doing?" Ron shouted, banging the door loudly. Harry hastily put down his hair brush, and picked up the toothpaste instead. He was in a rush. 

"Ron I am not going to dinner, I told you that this morning," Harry replied, his speech muffled around the red toothbrush sticking out of his foaming mouth. 

"Oh for Merlin's sake Harry, you could have reminded me again, you know what my memory is like. I will see you later then." Ron muttered, and with a loud huff Harry could hear Ron's footsteps fade away. Phew, no explanation needed just yet, Harry thought. 

Harry grabbed his note filled bag, and headed for the door. He still could not believe he was doing this and by the time Harry had gone through all the possible things that could go wrong, he was at the door of the infirmary. The big brass handle felt cold under Harry's sweaty palm and when it twisted it made a stiff squeak. When Harry walked through the door many eyes were on him, and many of the beds were occupied. A cold had been going around Hogwarts so it was no surprise, but the real surprise was none of those eyes were that intriguing pool of grey, none of those eyes belonged to Draco. Where was he? Draco was meant to be in bed four on the right hand side, and here the bed was but Draco was not present, instead a small brown haired boy was perched upright in the bed with a bandage covering his arm. Confused, Harry walked down the aisle in the center of the room, in search for Madame Pomfrey. Just as the Gryffindor started for the office door, a very rushed Pomfrey came striding around the corner, her arms full of different coloured bottles. 

"Oh Harry boy, I was wondering when you'd get here. As you can see I am up to my neck in work, everyone seems to have the sniffles! I have moved Draco into the private room around the back so he is far from the germs, but he is still a little weak. Please ask for anything if you need it, I shall pop in soon," Pomfrey babbled. 

"Oh thank you Miss, is he ready for me now?" Harry asked, with a questionable smile. Pomfrey nodded, and got whisked away by a very stressed looking student as she was about to speak, meaning Harry was left alone. Should he knock and walk in? Should he wait for an answer and awkwardly talk through the door? Harry was worrying, something he shouldn't be doing. After a minute of thinking, he reached out and knocked two times. A muffling of sheets and a small 'come in' made Harry open the door and step in to the dimly lit room. There was a table and a chair against the far wall, and a lamp and shelf on the other. A door was on the left which Harry expected to be the bathroom, which meant Draco was basically living here. The bed was on the right side of the room, with a small table piled with books of all kinds, and a pink coloured drink perched beside them. It was a small room but it was nice, it had almost a homely feel to it. Snug, Harry thought. Nearly forgetting who was there Harry flicked his gaze to Draco. He stared at the boy sitting limply in the empty bed, and locked eyes with him. Draco, surprisingly, didn't look better at all. The bags under his eyes were deeper, and his skin still had that offish tint to it, he looked really ill. A thick blanket covered his legs but Harry could still see Draco was cold by the way he was lying. Draco fidgeted under the glare, and Harry broke the silence first. 

"Feeling any better?" he asked the boy, who quite obviously did not look better than what he had yesterday, but Harry would never dare say that. 

Draco swallowed and moved a pillow behind his back, so he was in a totally upright position.   
"I feel absolutely fine Potter, let's cut the small talk. We both don't want to be here so we can at least make it that little more bearable by having to communicate as little as possible," Draco spoke, his voice sounded hoarse, and Harry could almost see the pain behind his eyes. Draco noticed Harry analysing him like a poem and tutted, he reached for his notebook and pen which were beside his bed, with Harry watching him. He couldn't help but notice the way Draco's hand shook when he reached for his things, or the way Draco held his pen so tightly that his knuckles were turning white with the strain. Draco coughed; Harry just couldn't stop staring. 

"Oh, um yes, that is fine with me too Malfoy." Harry replied, and sat at the table and chair which were a mere meter away from Draco to spread the notes out. "So which subject first?" 

"Anything I missed from potions would be helpful," Draco asked with no menace at all. This almost made Harry's shoulders relax, Draco was being civil about this work, he could do this easily. Harry grabbed the three sheets of parchment and handed them to Draco who, with shaking hands, took them with a nod of the head. Harry nearly smiled. This was bearable, Harry thought. This was a lot calmer than Harry had expected it to be, thank Merlin. 

It had been twenty minutes. Draco was scribbling notes and turning pages whilst Harry was looking out of the small window and chewing his nails. Draco coughed, and Harry turned around. 

"I don't understand this section here, you go back on the points you made," Draco exclaimed, pointing at the part on mixing the ingredients together. Harry frowned and walked over to Draco's bedside and leant over to inspect his work. Draco was right, he had made a mistake. 

"Oh yes I see, I did fuck up, one second," Harry said, and took the paper back, and went and sat with it at the little table and chair. Harry tried correcting his work but couldn't quite remember the exact words to finish it. Too caught up in the question he didn't notice Draco had got up and shakily made his way to the toilet. Hearing the door click, Harry scribbled a quick diagram and waited for Draco to come out. It had been roughly a minute when the handle of the door turned and out came the blonde. Harry hadn't really noticed what he was wearing before but he was pleasantly surprised when he realised Draco Malfoy was wearing muggle clothing. Loose grey jogging bottoms and a skin tight black t shirt. Harry was too busy looking at the way Draco's bones were visible on his back, when all of a sudden Draco fell. His knees buckled and he slumped to the floor. This all happened too fast for Harry to react so when Harry reached the boy he was trying to get back up. 

"Get the fuck off me Potter, I don't need your help," Draco snapped, as Harry reached for his arm to help him up. Taken aback by the comment, Harry stumbled away, knocking the table in the process - the ink spilling over all of Harry's parchment sheets. Fuck, this was a mess Harry thought. 

"I don't want your silly little notes either, so just leave!" Draco added, as he stood upright again, but his voice was forced and cracked, and his fingers were shaking violently as he pointed towards the door. Harry was speechless so he slowly backed away, and when he reached the door he grasped the handle and walked out as quickly as he could, leaving all the mess that just happened behind him. But as Harry was walking away he couldn't help but hear a small whimper from the other side of the door. Oh Merlin, Harry thought. As he left the infirmary he couldn't quite believe what he had just witnessed. And the sad thing is, the ink wasn't the mess Harry was walking away from, oh no. The mess was Draco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, being in year 11 is harder than I thought. I have exams all of next week so I can't promise a big chapter but I will see what I can do... enjoy x


	6. Regrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry feels he has to do something, but what?

“I am not having it Harry, something must be bugging you. You never say no to a game of chess!” Hermione exclaimed. She had been questioning Harry ever since he joined dinner half way through the day before. She wouldn’t be so confused if he hadn’t returned with a clenched jaw and wet black ink smudged down his arms. 

“Look Hermione I am okay, I just want to think for a bit. A lot has been going on you know,” Harry replied, letting himself back away and find his bed for a lie down. He heard a huff as he walked towards the dormitories and could picture Hermione shaking her head and her eyes growing three sizes. Harry knew Hermione meant no harm, she only ever wanted the best, just in times like this she could be a right pain in the arse. 

Harry exhaled as he pulled the duvet over himself, lying in his overly large bed. He still hadn’t gotten used to the space he had, even if he had been at Hogwarts in that bed for five years. It would never not feel new. There was no point in trying to close his eyes for Harry knew the minute he did a face will be there waiting for him. And what’s worse, they won’t be angry or arrogant like usual, they will be crying and pale. Harry felt sick. 

-:- 

“Look Ron as much as you make me laugh and have a very charming personality I could never kiss you. It’s too weird!” Hermione rambled, as her, Ron and Ginny played snog marry avoid. Harry chewed silently on some dry bread not interested in the laughing going on around him. He wanted to do something but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“Oi what do you think Harry, Lavender or Padma eh?” chirped Ron. Harry dragged his eyes away from the window and stared at Ron in a daze. Silence. “Harry what the hell is up mate?” 

“W-what?” Stumbled Harry, as he started sliding off of the bench backwards, grabbing his things. “I have to go, um I’ll see you later,” he mumbled, and stumbled away. 

“Honestly I can’t get through to him recently, talking to a rat would be easier than this,” huffed Hermione, as she watched her friend scurry out of the hall, leaving his untouched dinner in his place. 

-:- 

Harry didn’t know what he was doing until he reached the infirmary door and pushed it open. The smell of chemicals creeped up his nostrils and reality hit him all at once. Huh? Harry looked around him, startled at his surroundings. He went to back away when Madam Pomfrey came out of nowhere looking flustered, as usual. 

“Harry! Don’t move! I need to talk to you.” she exclaimed and came trotting over. Dammit, thought Harry, he was so close to getting away. “I must ask you, what happened when you left yesterday? I went in to check him after you left and he is, well, um in a bit of a crisis. I wanted to ask you if you knew anything.” 

“Oh, about that. Well we were getting along really well, working silently and things when all of a sudden he fell over which lead to the ink spilling and he just freaked out. I must have not helped the situation by fussing over him but I only wanted to help. I promise I didn’t do anything Madam,” Harry mumbled, with a concerned look on his face. Madam Pomfrey must have realised the panic on Harry’s face and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the door. 

“I think someone has something to say to you,” whispered Madam Pomfrey as they both hovered outside Draco’s door, and with that the flustered nurse left. Oh god, Harry thought, he had to face Draco right now? He started flattening his hair, and adjusting his tie, the nerves getting the better of him. The sound of shuffling behind the door startled Harry, so without hesitation he just knocked. No reply. Crack! The noise made Harry flinch, taking him by surprise. What was happening in there? Harry was about to barge in when all of a sudden the large red door swung open revealing a much tidier version of Draco Malfoy. Both boys made eye contact, but both stayed silent. 

“Um I wasn’t expecting anyone,” Draco mumbled quietly, his piercing eyes set on Harry’s. 

“I didn’t really plan this either, I guess I just wanted to check by, to err see how things were... I’m sorry, I should leave,” Harry stammered and turned around. Harry was aware of his burning cheeks as he stepped away, how stupid he thought. Draco obviously doesn’t need him, he looks fine. Just as Harry was close to leaving the infirmary a voice called. 

“Potter!” Draco yelled. Everyone in the infirmary froze, and looked at the blonde who was standing aimlessly in the middle of the room. Harry span around, still red cheeked and slightly panting. Draco glared at all the kids around him staring, and waved Harry over. Harry noticed his hand shaking. It was an awkward walk back over, Harry stared at the ground until he got to the Slytherin. “Come in,” Draco stated. His voice no longer faltering, his facial expression hard. But beyond the eyes Harry could see something else. It was the guilt again. So Harry followed Draco sheepishly back to the large red door and closed it behind him. The room had more things this time. There were multiple books on the night stand, there were little bottles with different colour liquids in them on the shelf, and there were thick knitted blankets strewn across the bed. It looked more homely, more lived in. Draco caught Harry staring at the room and sat down, waiting for his attention. 

“This isn’t just temporary is it?” Harry asked, staring at a poster of an old quidditch team from the 1920’s hung on the pale wall. 

“No, I’ll be here for a while,” Draco replied, as he folded a Slytherin green blanket on the end of his bed. The silence pursued. “Take a seat Potter, I’ll answer your questions,” Draco gestured to the seat in the corner. Harry felt awkward, knowing the last time he was here the ink covered all of the work they had done. 

“I want to apologise actually. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable yesterday. I was careless too and didn’t want to just leave you like that,” Harry started, he didn’t know where this was going but he was talking and words were making sense, “I don’t want to make you feel small or intimidate you. I just want to help. I know you see me as this ‘hero Potter’ but I don’t just give up my time for everyone. You need it, I can tell.” Harry glanced up to see Draco staring intently at him. He was now the one who felt small. Draco hadn’t said anything yet, he hadn’t even given a nod of the head. He just sat there, his elbows resting on his thighs, his chin resting on his hands. He was thinking. Harry could almost see his thoughts moving inside his head. 

“Fine,” Draco uttered. He abruptly stood up and reached out his hand. Harry was confused. What was he doing? He looked up at the blonde who was staring down at him and saw his eyebrows lift. Harry hastily stood up and stared some more, finally grasping Draco’s hand in his own. His skin was cold. His hands were bony, and frail. Harry was scared of snapping his fingers if he held on any stronger. They both gave a shake, Draco’s being small but firm and Harry’s being sweaty and limp. It was weird, the touch. Two boys who could not stand the sight of each other, now shaking hands in a dimly lit hospital room. It was strange but it worked. Harry’s gaze travelled from their hands to Draco’s eyes, and they met again. This time Harry could see something else. It wasn’t guilt this time, it was almost the opposite. Harry could sense some kind of pride in Draco. Was he giving Draco the satisfaction he wanted? Just over 5 years ago he declined that very offer, and here he is now accepting it. He smiled. A genuine one. Harry even got a small one in return. The hands parted and both boys broke eye contact. But something that evening didn’t break. In fact it grew. Was it respect, or was it something else? Neither boys knew at the time but what they did know was both would be falling to sleep pretty easy tonight. Pretty easy indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I haven’t updated in 7 months, this is crazy. I just found this chapter waiting to be published so thought I’d publish. Maybe I’ll carry this on, I already have the ending in my head...

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I have committed myself to a long fic... *gasps* I hope this doesn't flop.


End file.
